After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
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Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
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I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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