we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
