Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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