Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
