Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
