i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
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He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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