I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
