are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
