I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
