i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
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I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
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Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
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