Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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