Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
