wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
