The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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