i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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