Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
