it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
