Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
