I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
