i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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