I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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