I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
