This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
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You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
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Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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