it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This is my gift to your gina
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
