I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
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I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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