He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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