No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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