How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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