oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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