I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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