Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Randomize