Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
