I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
