So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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