I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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