I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
