I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Life is so much better after having sex.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
