Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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