seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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