All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize