I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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