Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
