I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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