Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
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I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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