Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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