Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
