sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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