She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
