Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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