dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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