I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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