so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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