I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize