You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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