So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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