I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
how does that bad decision feel?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
