We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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