wakey wakey hands off snakey
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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