my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
